This is all Messy
There is a perception that winter in the garden is a time of inactivity. I am convinced, of course, that this perception is only held by those who don't garden. I'll grant that on the surface it all does look calm, but any grower knows differently.
In the very practical ways, winter is when we decide which things to plant and which things to cull from last year's planting. It is the time for ordering seeds and taking stock of supplies. It is time for cleaning and maintaining our tools and spaces. It's the time for designing the garden knowing that we'll change the plan another 100 times and likely still make changes in the spring.
It is also the time for taking stock of the previous season. It's the time for measuring against your plans and seeing how it stacked up. It's the time for contemplation and reflection. It is the time for dreaming.
November 2023
The last few months have brought with it some really wonderful gifts. So many more gardeners are finding Songbird as a result of some very generous people with much larger audiences than I will ever have. And in this winter time, between packing up orders and seeds for future orders, I've had time again to think. To take stock of my own ideas and hopes, and my successes and mistakes. I made a commitment to myself when I took the farm in this direction that I would check in regularly and honestly with myself to make sure that the guiding values I determined for it were being upheld. I'll write at some point later about what those are, but the last couple of weeks have finally allowed me the space to think about them.
I have a fraught relationship with social media. It has been a tremendous tool in the building of my businesses. But I don't love it. And after a number of years of navigating unhealthy parasocial relationships as a more public persona in my life in music, I am wary, to say the least of opening that door again. I dream of a faceless business. Let the seeds and the flowers do the talking.
But when I measure that against what I value in the social media I love, it doesn't work. I love getting to know the parts of you that you are wiling to share on social media. I love getting messages from you and reading comments and seeing your holiday decorations and your pets. I learn so much from seeing the garden or farm spaces in which you are growing flowers or food or kids. So. In very small steps, and making sure to be clear that social media is not showing my whole life so I know it's not showing yours, I'm going to try to lean into vulnerability.
I can control a narrative, literally, when I write emails or blog posts or captions. It's safe. It's presentational. It's carefully curated. It's also aspirational. Because this is all messy. All of it. And if someone says it isn't, they're hiding the mess under something.
December 2023
So every Monday at 10am for 10 - 15 minutes, I'm turning on Instagram Live with my coffee, and I will talk about sweet peas or sweet pea adjacent topics. It'll be a rough start. Might get easier, might not. I will have bullet points but not scripts. I know it's a tricky time for those that work on Mondays, but in the spirit of full disclosure, it's intentional. It means fewer people can watch while I sort myself out in front of a video of my own face.
Maybe this is also a gentle push for you to try something new in this so-called quiet time in the garden. Ask yourself a question or two. Consider something that is counter intuitive. Hold your nose and leap. There will always be coffee & sweet peas to make it feel better.
One last thing. Until I feel comfortable enough to keep the videos, I'll do a wrap up post in my instagram feed and you can reply if you want to. Absolutely no pressure at all.
Thank you for being here!
